Chapter 1,221 [Wise] Wife [Good] Mother!

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I always feel that after this game is over, all the moral integrity I have finally accumulated will be exhausted. What is going on? Why do I always feel inexplicably threatened by threats to my moral integrity recently?

Before meeting the pornographic maid, where had the upright self gone?

With this sad question, I came to Aunt Lisa's kitchen.

Now, my idea is that if I suppress my sorrow so much, I might as well drag everyone down with me, that’s right! Why is it that I am the one who suffers every time? You guys who happily watch the game should go to hell with me and contribute your souls to Lucifer, you bastards! !

I lowered my head and laughed a few times gloomily, then raised my head, my smile was bright again.

"Cousin...Cousin, meow, the aura on you...is so scary, meow~~~"

This transvestite, like no other, has a first-class intuition. After she keenly noticed my change, she started to tremble all over.

"It's nothing, I just suddenly figured out something." Like the No. 1 machine that was out of control, I staggered a few times, turned around, and grinned at Feini.

"Meow~~~~!!" Feini huddled up with tears in her eyes.

It's really fun to bully this transvestite.

"Now let's interview the third contestant. Many people must already know her. Yes, she is the mother of Sarah, who has been rated as the most beautiful woman in the Dark Continent by busy people. Of course, she is also my mother-in-law. She can give birth to a child. With such a beautiful daughter, it is not an exaggeration to be named the second most beautiful woman in mainland China."

I smiled and happily took pictures of my mother-in-law's horses.

"I am Sarah's father. Look here. I am the father of the most beautiful woman in mainland China. Being able to give birth to such an outstanding daughter means that she can be ranked on the list of handsome boys."

When Mr. Lar, who was not far away from the audience, heard what I said, he suddenly became elated and acted coquettishly, as if he was afraid that others would not know about him.

It's a pity that his presence is indeed quite thin, and not many people notice him at all.

You can think of it with your toes. The father of the most beautiful woman in mainland China and the mother of the most beautiful woman in mainland China will undoubtedly attract a hundred times more attention. After all, there is the so-called mother-daughter effect. People are more willing to believe that a beautiful woman and an ugly man can give birth to a beautiful daughter. , instead of a beautiful boy and an ugly girl, can give birth to a beautiful daughter.

Compared with the simple aunt in front, Aunt Lisa in front of her seems to be born with star looks. Logically speaking, this should be the first time she has been exposed to the attention of so many people, but she still remains calm and looks... Her ease, elegance and magnanimity made her look like a dying princess who happened to be taken advantage of by Larna and married off.

"Elder Fan is really good at talking. I don't care, she is already an old woman in her thirties or forties." Aunt Lisa covered her mouth and said with an elegant smile.

"Women, no matter how beautiful they are, they still have to take advantage of men. So, compared to my precious daughter being known as the most beautiful woman in the mainland, I really think that your son-in-law, who has the most beautiful woman in the mainland as his own, is happier. "

Oh oh oh, Aunt Lisa, you can't taunt me like this! ! !

I wiped a cold sweat and turned around stiffly. Sure enough, when I heard Aunt Lisa, tens of thousands of men in the audience were already on fire. It seemed that they were brought back to the cruel reality from the short-term joy—— That's right, not only Miss Sarah, the most beautiful woman in the continent, but also Lady Linya, who was also one of the three beauties in the past, has not been spared, as well as Her Majesty Artoria of the Elf Tribe, with her noble and majestic grace. Not inferior to the first two in any way, I heard that she also has an affair with Lady Lucia, the charming Sky Fox from the fox clan...

Burn this harem man to death! ! !

In an instant, countless envious, jealous and hateful eyes in the audience seemed to turn into raging flames. The glances they cast towards me wanted to burn me to ashes immediately.

"You, you...what do you want to do, meow? My cousin is...not that kind of man who wants to play, meow~~"

Sensing this shocking hostility, Feini nervously stood in front of me like a hen protecting her chicks, bearing countless hot gazes on my behalf.

Feini, although I am very grateful for you to stand up and speak for me, but...

With tears streaming down my face, I looked at the fans of Feini who had maintained a neutral attitude and whose faces said "At least we still have a piece of pure spiritual land - belongs only to our Royal Highness Feini", suddenly joined in the frenzy of hatred. I just feel that in this world, I no longer have a place the size of an ant hole.

"Aunt Lisa, you are really hurting me."

I shrugged my head and sighed listlessly. The looks from the audience made me feel that if I walked at night in the future, I might be attacked by a sneak attack and slapped with a sap every time I took a step.

"If your life is too ordinary, it is easy to forget happiness, so I suddenly want to create a little trouble for you, so that you can know how happy you are to marry these three girls, Veraslinya and Sarah, You have to cherish them."

With the tone of someone who has experienced this, Aunt Lisa looked at me gently and warned me.

"But don't be like that fool, who was born into blessings and doesn't know how to be blessed."

The gentle gaze from the previous moment was immediately filled with a dark energy, directed towards a certain Paladin uncle in the audience who felt lonely because he had been ignored.

"I see Aunt Lisa, you are enjoying it too."

Looking at Uncle Lal and then at Aunt Lisa, I suddenly felt that from a certain perspective, this couple might really be a good match.

"Oh my, is that so?"

Regarding my statement, Aunt Lisa just smiled faintly, but there seemed to be a trace of warm memories in her eyes, passing by in an instant, so fast that it was hard to see clearly or understand.

"Ahem, now let's see what kind of dishes contestant Lisa will bring us."

Feeling that the topic had been left behind, I picked up the magic amplifier again and brought the rhythm back to the game.

"Can you tell us about it, Contestant Lisa? I see that there are a lot of ingredients on your stage. What are you going to do? I'm looking forward to it. As far as I know, Contestant Lisa's cooking skills are... The entire Rogge camp is ranked number one.”

"It's an award. It's not a big deal. I want to use these ingredients to make three dishes."

"Three dishes? As far as I know, the evaluation this time is based on the average score. Therefore, it does not mean that you have a greater chance of winning if you cook more dishes. If one of them is not as good as the other two, maybe It will hold you back, meow~~~”

Feeney, who has a good memory, kindly reminded Aunt Lisa of the rules of the competition. If you want to get the highest score, it is safer to choose what you are best at. The judges will not give you a higher score just because you do more. A fraction of a point.

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I just want to do this. The outcome of the game is secondary." Aunt Lisa gave up and rubbed Fini's head and smiled like a kind elder.

"It seems that contestant Lisa doesn't take the victory or defeat too seriously this time. I wonder if this peaceful mentality can make her a dark horse in this competition?"

I lost no time in explaining to the audience that the real purpose was to slowly transfer the burning envy and jealousy just now.

"Why three channels, not two, four, or five? Can you tell us the reason behind this number?" He continued to extend the magic loudspeaker to Aunt Lisa.

"It's not a big deal, it's just that there happen to be three idiots at home who can't take care of themselves." Facing the loudspeaker, Aunt Lisa gently stroked half of her face, showing a very sexy temperament, like this Explained to everyone.

"Oh oh oh, so these three dishes are made for three important family members? How great. It seems that in addition to her superb cooking skills, our contestant Lisa is also an amazing and admirable wife and mother."

The Lal trio in the audience were already in tears.

"Oooh, Lisa, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn't have gone to the bar and drank late at night without telling you last night." Uncle Lal knelt on the ground, tilted his upper body up, and roared at the sky, looking very distressed. appearance.

"Yes, even if we sneak away to drink, we shouldn't lie to Sister Lisa, saying that we volunteered to patrol the area around the camp to prevent monsters from suddenly appearing and disturbing the wonderful birthday of God."

Doug clutched his chest, his face pale, as if he had been traumatized more painfully than an arrow through the heart.

"When I came home drunk, I vomited all over the hall. To avoid being punished by Sister Lisa, I secretly brought back a few cows and sheep outside and put them inside..."

Doug squatted down, holding his bald head in his arms, regretting what he had done.

The regretful looks of the three grown men were like a sculpture with the theme of "Repentant Man" carved by some amazing master sculptor.

Hey, hey, hey, I heard it all here.

I looked at the three idiots, and then at Aunt Lisa, whose smile was getting brighter and brighter, and I was sweating like rain.

Are you really that hard to think about it?

"Yes... By the way, can I ask, what are the names of these three dishes?"

Aunt Lisa exuded an unknown aura, which made me use honorifics unconsciously, and my eyes became cautious, ready to make high-end dodges like those in The Matrix at any time. She was afraid that the kitchen knife in her hand would fly out at some point.

"Yes, we really should give them a nice name. I was still thinking about what to choose just now. Thanks to Elder Tuofan, I have already chosen one."

The kitchen knife in Aunt Lisa's hand shook slightly, and she saw a flash of white light, and a raw fish was placed on the chopping board. The head was immediately separated, and the fish head was neatly cut off with a knife. The turbid fish eyes seemed to be still there. He couldn't believe that his body was gone. His tail was still swaying subconsciously, and his mouth was opening and closing unwillingly, like a person whose throat was cut, desperately trying to suck air into his lungs.

With one cut, blood spattered, and a few drops splashed on Aunt Lisa's beautiful face, rendering the gentle smile on her face as sad and bright red as falling cherry blossoms.

"The name of the first dish is Braised Lar." There was a smile on her face, but there was no smile in her words.

Suddenly, Uncle Lal in the audience seemed to feel the same thing and turned into the fish with its head cut off on the chopping board, rolling and twitching and struggling on the ground.

"The name of the second dish..."

As she spoke, Aunt Lisa's hand grabbed the cage prepared on one side without hesitation, lifted up the old hen inside, and neatly twisted the chicken's neck. Her movements were so skillful that the clucking old hen did not feel any pain. In pain, the chicken's head tilted, and the wings that were constantly flapping fell limply and made no sound anymore.

“Stewed Doug!!”

As if squeezed out from between the teeth, Aunt Lisa read word by word. Suddenly, Doug, who was full of hesitation, grabbed his neck and fell down in pain.

"The last one..."

He put the pot aside, which was covered with a wooden lid, and he didn't know what ingredients were inside. He lifted it in front of him and opened the lid. There was a pot of fresh little clams inside.

Picking up these clams, she poured them into the bubbling hot water nearby without hesitation. Watching the small clams being boiled instantly and opening their shells to reveal the clam meat inside, she quickly picked them up and added the other ones. Add oil to a pot and heat it up, sprinkle ginger on it, and on the darkened smile, the seductive little mouth slightly opened and he spoke slowly.

"Fry Goff!"

Gefu also fell down.

Both on and off the court were speechless, and many men were already in tears - although the beauty is good, the yellow-faced woman in the family is still suitable for him.

"Ha~~ah haha~~it's...it's really a strange dish name. So, I wish contestant Lisa can win the championship in one fell swoop, and we will continue to interview the next one...the next one..."

No, Aunt Lisa will never win the championship. Just based on these three [magical] dish names, no matter how delicious she cooks, it will be useless. If Akara and Artoria are willing, tens of thousands of people in the audience will Men won’t agree either.

Feeney and I left the scene as if fleeing, gasping for air.

"So...so scary, meow~~~"

Finny sobbed, then raised her head and looked at me cautiously and with a little fear.

"Cousin... Cousin meow, Miss Sarah, she... she will... won't... won't become like this... in the future, right?"

"Tear off your crow's mouth!"

I immediately hooked the corner of Feini's mouth and pulled her away bitterly, this guy... my Sarah would not become so scary! ! !

But...well, how should I put it, everything was expected.

I looked up at the audience and saw that many of the male audience members were still in a tangled state with expressions of broken eggs on their faces. I felt a sense of pleasure as I had the same expression on my face.

How about it, choosing Aunt Lisa as the interview subject is indeed right, as I said before, don’t think that I am alone, everyone will go to hell to meet Lucifer, you bastard! !

From this point of view, I am indeed a man who can count on everything even if my balls hurt. With such terrifying attributes... maybe I will grow into a very scary guy in the future. He is said to have a hundred other things besides his singing voice. Wu Fan, the Conquering King, has a unique way to conquer the universe! ! !

Next up, some healing interviews.

After thinking proudly, I turned my eyes around again, and finally landed on Sister Karina.

Speaking of Sister Karina, my first impression of her is that she is a beautiful, bold and powerful lady. However, after getting to know her better, I discovered that this seemingly strong woman actually hides a very delicate and fragile side. .

What a beautiful flower, but it was ruined by Gott's orangutan.

"What kind of exciting dishes will contestant Karina bring to us?"

When the interview time came, I was surprised to find that Sister Karina’s table was filled with fruits, mostly bananas.

"Haha, Xiao Wu... Elder Fan might as well take a guess?" Sister Karina winked at me slyly.

"Fruit platter?"

I answered without hesitation. Anyone who sees more than ten kinds of fruits placed on the stage with such a posture will probably think of this name first.

But...can fruit platter be considered a dish?

Sure enough, Karina smiled and shook her head.

"Elder Fan guessed~wrong~Luo~~is the Banana Pie."

"This is good, meow, I like sweets, meow~~"

Feini came up to her like she was stealing the spotlight, looking at the fruits on top, her eyes sparkling with a happy expression.

So a large group of people in the audience solemnly wrote down this important information in their notebooks. Some people couldn't wait to flip through their inventory to see if they could find the ingredients to make banana pie, apple pie, etc. .

"Oh? I have only heard of apple pie. What is banana pie? Can you share it with everyone?"

I stretched the loudspeaker to the other side, and immediately, those fans of Feini who were busy taking notes cheered and almost said yes without being excited.

Get out of here you fucking fags!

"Actually, it's nothing. It's not particularly delicious." Sister Karina showed a slightly troubled expression and smiled.

"It's just that the one in my family really likes eating bananas, so he made it like this without permission. For ordinary people, it might be more suitable for eating apple pie. Only the banana madman in my family can eat no matter how many."

"Did you hear that? He is so virtuous. The husband of contestant Karina is really so happy."

Sister Karina's speech made all the men in the audience burst into tears of excitement. They felt that their hearts that had been hit hard just now had been healed. Some even shouted slogans such as "Marry Karina as your wife."

Of course, there are a few petty guys who have not forgotten the envy, jealousy and hatred in their hearts. At this time, they cast an even more piercing look at me, as if to say, is there any man in the world who can be as happy as you, a harem man, you bastard? ! ! !

"Please forgive me for asking, why does Karina's husband like to eat bananas? Is it because Karina chose it?"

I tried to go one step further and make it as touching and loving as "The Story of a Couple Eating Fish", so I continued to ask.

"Because it's an orangutan."

Because it's an orangutan...

It's an orangutan...

Orangutan...

The crisp and clear voice echoed over and over again in the ears of the male audience who felt healed.

The scene was silent.

"Awwwwww~~~~ Lina, I'm hungry."

Following the example of Tarzan, the Gorilla swung over the heads of countless spectators, and then rolled several times and landed on the stage, making a shining appearance.

"Oh, it's you, Wu, what are you doing? It seems very interesting, hahahaha~~~~~"

That male face, which looked scary and majestic when he was serious, like a certain director, was smiling like an innocent idiot, as if he was fully interpreting the definition of the term orangutan to everyone.

"Lina, how come you took away all the bananas in the house and couldn't find any?"

Before I could say anything, he turned around and complained to his wife.

"Be good, be good, take a few to fill your stomach first, the banana pie will be ready later."

Sister Karina looked at her husband with a gentle expression, like looking at... a pet... uh.

"Oh, banana pie? I want ten, ten." Gotler danced.

"Yes, yes, yes, please sit aside and wait quietly. Don't go out and cause trouble to everyone again." Karina pointed to the position of the braised, stir-fried and stir-fried trio under the stage, and coaxed with a gentle smile.

At this moment, I suddenly had an illusion, or an intuition - if there is a large iron cage for beasts under the stage, then the place where Sister Karina is pointing must be in the direction of the cage. .

“Oh~~~ Got it!!!”

Gaut happily held a bunch of bananas and sat next to the threesome. While peeling and eating, he stared closely at his wife on the stage. Suddenly, as if he had just noticed Lal and the others beside him, he looked at them curiously. glanced at them, and then...

"Puff puff puff~~~~~~~"

The orangutan covered his mouth, his cheeks bulged high, and he couldn't help but laugh and pointed at the three people.

"Lal, Doug, Goff, what's wrong with you? Why do you look like a lost dog? You must have done something bad again. Lisa must have punished you. Look at my Karina. How kind to me."

As he said that, he waved the banana in his arms in front of the three of them as if to show off. They ate it deliciously and did not forget to make a look like "If you sincerely ask me, I will consider giving you one." Root" proud gesture.

I:"……"

Feini: "..."

All viewers: "..."

"This...every family has a hard time...Ahem, sorry, every family has a different understanding and definition of happiness. No matter what kind of relationship it is, even if the owner and the pet are the same, as long as they are both Just feel happy."

I wiped off the cold sweat while making my final remarks for this interview, and wished that Sister Karina’s dog food...oh no, it’s banana pie, can be generous and bright, and win the laurel crown in one fell swoop.

Although the hope is even slimmer than a sudden setting like Ultraman attacking the Dark Continent.

Very good, my body and mind seem to have been healed a lot (?), and I seem to have managed to regain some energy (because I saw a man who was even more tragic than myself), so I will use this precious energy to deal with the most difficult person next. Let's get rid of that group.

My eyes fell on Old Man Farah and Mu Aodonggua across from me.

Sensing my gaze, these two old men sneered again and again, folded their hands on their chests, and looked confident, as if to say, come here, boy, let you see our most wretched and stingy combination in the world. sharp.

Only then did I realize that some time had passed since the game, but these two old guys were still on stage, clean and without any preparation. They were really here to cause trouble, you bastards! !

With a smile on my face, I walked to their kitchen counter.

"The names of the next two people here are probably already known to everyone here, so I won't introduce them in detail, but I'm afraid everyone is very curious..."

I pointed at the two old men with a sarcastic look on my face.

"The president of a magic guild and a dwarf master blacksmith don't look like kitchen masters. Why are they here? Is it to compare [higher and lower], or do they want to compare [how much]? "

Many viewers who understood the meaning of this sentence burst into laughter.

As a dwarf, Muradin was naturally very sensitive to the word "high or low", while Farah standing next to him was a thin bamboo pole. As for the "how much", of course it refers to the beards of the two people.

One sentence not only implicitly mocked the two people's most taboo points, but also seemed to be secretly instigating, because these two old guys were originally a pair of natural enemies. How could the audience not laugh after understanding this.

However, no one would blame the host for his sharp tongue, because...these two old men were so hateful that they were so angry that no one would sympathize with them.

"You kid..."

Everyone else could understand, and it was even more unlikely that Farah and Muradin, who were involved, could not understand. For a moment, both of them were glaring at me, wishing they could pounce on me and bite me.

However, even if they knew that what I just said was to break up the gap, the two people still looked at each other with jealousy after glaring at me. One stared at the top of each other's head, and the other stared at the other's beard, with a look of jealousy. It flashed by, showing a friendly relationship that could bite his teammates at any time.

"Okay, let's see what different things these two old men can bring to everyone. Can you tell us about it? The game is already halfway through, and you don't seem to have prepared anything. Do you just want to go on stage to sell something? Face?"

I asked unceremoniously. Although the host cannot be emotional, he still has to look at the target. Like these two old guys, I am more sarcastic, and the audience will only applaud.

"Humph, don't be shocked when you see it."

Upon hearing my question, the two old men temporarily put aside their small thoughts, raised their eyebrows proudly, and under everyone's surprised eyes, they took out a... strange magic instrument shaped like a meat grinder.

“Automatic cooking machine!!”

Farah Meng and Nobi Ladin shouted in unison...

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Some readers speculated that the two masked men were the Hairy-Legged Immortal and the Stupid Demon King. Although Xiaoqi also wanted to write this, the plot would become more interesting, but rationality still had to be emphasized. If the Stupid Demon King could come to the scene so easily, In the first world, the wise and almost demonic Belial had already captured the Alliance by surprise.

The idiot brothers and sisters will meet, but not in the near future...